Here I am, yet who am I?
This body I don’t recognize.
Flickers of what used to be,
Assigned a new identity.
The face of someone I once knew.
Replaced by red, a different view.
Doctors, nurses, office visits.
Not life how I envisioned, is it?
Pretending everything’s ok.
Slap on a smile anyway.
My body stolen, give it back.
Return to me the strength I lack.
The pills, the tests, the therapy,
Take place of what once was me.
All that this disease has taken,
Feel I must prove that I’m not faking.
Invisible, not always seen,
Yet it’s there, behind the scene.
From outside, looking fine.
The inside struggle, it’s all mine.
Take a breath, have to explain,
Reasons have to entertain.
Life, I had so much diminished,
Just when I feel that I am finished.
Try to navigate the pain,
Things have changed. Can’t be vain.
The hair, the moon, the hands, fatigue.
I feel so far out of my league.
A scream inside, it makes no sound.
Lost, alone, a foreign town.
A path not many have to tread.
I’d choose another one instead.
Uncertainty and always wondering.
Heart is pounding, brain is thundering.
These days can be a constant test.
For now, my warrior, let your heart rest.