I’m overwhelmed. I’m scared. I’m tired. I’m tired of new symptoms, new scares, new tests. I’m tired of scaring my children. I’m tired of them putting on a “brave face” for me. I’m tired of worrying my parents and other family members. I’m tired of my significant other/spouse having to be my caregiver. I’m tired of asking my family members or friends to be my voice of reason. I’m tired of my health being “the” topic, with friends, again.
I’m tired of arguing with insurance companies. I’m tired of having to defend myself from the word “go” at the emergency room/urgent care center, because I have a chronic illness and there is an assumption that we are drug seeking or attention seeking; even though autoimmune diseases are multi-system, multi-problem, chronic, debilitating, and progressive. I’m tired of knowing more about my disease than many doctors, nurses, insurances companies, pharmacists…and having to fight them at every turn.
I’m tired of my body not doing what it’s supposed to do even though I try so hard to take my medications, eat right, get rest, take care of myself, etc. I’m tired of feeling like I’m a complete mess. I’m tired of being on the verge of tears all the time. I’m tired of being scared. I’m tired of being tired.
Sometimes you need to vent and talk to other #MyositisWarriors in the same situation as you; that’s why MSU has various support options for you! Other times, you may need to talk to a mental health professional, either way, please know you are never alone!
Read more about this topic at https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/chronic-illness-mental-health/index.shtml